Messages of Hope Stories
Kate Thaxton story
I thought I was becoming a hypochondriac: indigestion, constipation, mysterious aches. My symptoms changed on a daily, if not hourly, basis. I was uncomfortable, but never in pain. I'll never forget the horrible feeling that washed over me as soon as I scheduled the appointment. It wasn't long before a new word entered my vocabulary: adenocarcinoma, as in pancreatic cancer, adenocarcinoma, stage IV.
Actually, I've learned a lot of new words since December 2006, very intimidating ones like para-aortic adenopathy, confluent ground glass opacification, satellite hypodensities. Yes, they are very scary, but they didn't compare to the word "eek."
“We will try to eek out a remission.”
After years of medical training and practice, my doctor decided that "eek" was the most appropriate word to define my prognosis. There is no strength in eek, certainly no confidence. There is a hint of hope, but not much. Funny, but I can’t think of a word that is more opposite to how I’m feeling today.
What are my chances? It’s the first thing you want to ask and the last thing you want to hear. A percentage has never held so much importance. I know now that whether the answer was 99% or less than 2%, it’s just a number. It’s a statistic that’s filled with a zillion variables. Sure, I have moments when the statistics are almost unbearable, but it’s at those moments when I try to focus on how strong I am, both mentally and physically. And isn’t that more important that a statistic?
It goes without saying that my life has radically changed since I was diagnosed. Everything I do now is focused on one goal - living. I read once that the secret to survivorship is ‘finding a balance’ between life and cancer. But really, it’s more than that. It’s about throwing everything I love, everything wonderful in life, at the tumors; recognizing my fear and anger, and still finding the strength within to seek out my dreams; ultimately, squeezing as much life as possible in between doctor visits, PETscans, and treatment; and simply loving life.
~Kate
P.S. Alice. Thank you so much for including other types of cancers. It makes me feel so happy to know that non-breast cancer patients will be able to use your site as a resource of support and hope.
Your concept is so wonderful and I have no doubt that it will be a tremendous success. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you with the development of the site. I love your vision and would very much like to be a bigger part of it.
Warmth,
Kate
